Welcome To The Quitters Club

          I had my last cigarette on February 4th.  I haven’t yelled at anyone, cried, gotten road rage, or had to hide a body.  I think I’m doing pretty well.  I started smoking when I was 13.  I don’t feel old telling you that I’m 47, but I think I sound old when I say I’ve been smoking for 34 years.  I know, I’m weird.

          I spent a year talking myself into doing this.  No, I’m not doing it for my health.  If I was quitting for my health, I would have done it over twenty years ago.  My great motivation is that I’m tired of stinking like an ashtray.  The smell I used to crave so much has gotten quite offensive to me.    

          It really doesn’t matter what my WHY is.  What’s important is that I have a strong enough WHY to see it through.  There are plenty of solid reasons to quit smoking and I will reap the benefits of all of them no matter what my motivator is.

          I’m using a vape to quit because I know that quitting cold turkey turns me into a raving lunatic, I’m allergic to the adhesive on the patches, the gum and lozenges taste like pepper and I hate pepper.  This isn’t my first try, but this is the one I feel the most positive about.

          I started out at a level 6 nicotine and my plan is to cut down to a 3 on June 1^st, 0 in September and then on New Years Eve I’m going to pack up all my vaping supplies and be done.  I know my limits.  I know that trying to break the nicotine habit and the physical habit is a recipe for failure for me, so I’m doing it this way.

          Two people I know commented that everyone they knew that had tried to quit smoking using a vape went right back to cigarettes.  I can think of three people right off the top of my head that quit successfully using a vape, so I know it can be done.  I don’t believe in applying my “can’t” to other people’s lives and I don’t allow other people to apply theirs to mine.

          If you smoke, don’t worry that I’m going to be obnoxious to you about it.  I know that everyone walks their own path.  If and when you come to a place where you decide to quit, I will be your biggest cheerleader, but if that never happens, I promise to never forget what it felt like to “not be there.”

          Feel free to help hold me accountable. 

Time To Decompress!

           One of my qualities that makes me good at my job is my ability to be alone for long periods of time and not feel lonely.  I love my solitude.  I need my solitude.  I realized a couple of weeks ago that outside of this truck, I haven’t had any time to myself since March.  Every time I’ve taken time off since March, I’ve been doing something with other people. Don’t get me wrong, I like being around people but I also like my time alone to just BE… not running around, not having to hold up my end of a conversation, but to just BE.  That’s what keeps me sane (ish.)

          Today, a friend who takes his time off at his daughter’s house with her family told me: “I love spending time with my granddaughter, but I always make sure I get some time to myself.  I need that.”

          I was explaining to Tiffany that I’m feeling fried, so I want to put the blog on pause for two weeks and just decompress.

          I think we all need some time to decompress.  My dad used to go dink around in the garage, or go fishing or even just a ride in his pickup out in the country.  I ride my bike, or hibernate in my apartment and work on a puzzle, among other things.

          What do you do?  Drop me a line in the comments and let me know how you decompress.  Note: you have to be logged into a Google account to leave a comment.

Full Circle

          Last night, I was all set to share some more thoughts about the 8/2 split when I realized that today I was picking up at the same place I was when I found out that the blog was “a go.”  It feels like I’ve come full circle.

          I had created the blog with six sample posts, created a blog proposal and gave it to David Freymiller the next time I saw him.  I handed him this folded up paper, said “check this out,” and took off like a shot.  I was scared to death.  In my mind, the blog was a good idea, but I wasn’t sure that he would agree.  I’ve had plenty of ideas that I thought were great but couldn’t find anyone to agree with me about them.

          I was shocked about a month later, when I was sitting in a dock at the same place I’m sitting right now, and I got a call from work.  I was expecting it to be Clyde, but it was Denise.  She was calling to tell me that they’d all looked at the blog and discussed it and they wanted to go with it.  It was a mind-blowing moment.

          Sometimes I’m still a little blown away by it all.  Writing is a passion of mine, it always has been, and I’m here to tell you… if you have a passion… don’t give it up.  Keep pursuing it until you get to where you want to go with it.

          More on the 8/2 split next week.  BTW, I saw all the comments on the Facebook page.  WOW!  That’s all I can say about that.

Blah!

          I’m finding myself very thankful for the mundane continuity of my job right now.  I’ve had some personal stuff going on that I can’t do anything about. Nothing catastrophic; mostly just irritating.

          The hardest part is these things are weighing on me heavy enough that I’ve been racking my brain all week trying to think of what I wanted to blog about this week.  No, I didn’t come up with a good answer. 

          For so many years I’ve had people tell me how strong I am.  I hate hearing that because it usually comes at a time where I’m going through something really hard and I can’t help but wonder if people convince themselves of my strength so they can justify not asking if they can help. 

          I’m okay, really.  I’m just “not feeling it” today. 

I Hate Cell Phone Chargers

          When I bought my new phone in August, I had to buy new charging cords because my new phone is a “USB-C.”  I guess whoever decides what charging port will go into a phone decided that since most Android users probably have at least 10 Micro-USB cords it was time to change.

          I bought a new charger (plug) because it had a second USB port.  It died before I went on vacation a month later.

                  

          Remember the good old days when cell phone chargers lasted longer than air fresheners?  Me, too.  Oh, how I miss the days when the cords were hard-wired into the plugs.  Just the phrase “USB port” is enough to trigger a bout of Tourette’s in me.

          I heard a quote several years ago. “Build ‘em cheap, sell ‘em cheap, sell ‘em often.”  I tried searching but couldn’t find out who said it, but I’m convinced that is the marketing strategy of the companies that produce cell phone chargers.

          With the bouncing of the truck, I can’t seem to get one that lasts more than three or four months before the USB cord can’t make a solid connection.  I feel like captive consumer.  Living without a cell phone charger isn’t a viable option, but I feel like all there is available to buy is crap.

          Am I the only one who feels this way?

My Heavy Heart

One of my unstated goals for this blog was for it to be different from most of whatever else you expose yourself to online.  I wanted it to be lighthearted, even when I’m covering serious subjects.  I wanted it to be someplace you can get away from all the crap that goes on in the world… even for just a few minutes.

I’ve purposely not weighed in on world events because of this.  I figure the last thing you want is one more idiot, standing on a soap box, blabbering on about politics, religion, the NFL, and e-log mandates (among other things) so I opted not to do that.

I was in Winslow, AZ on an 8-hour break when Stephen Paddock changed the world forever by opening fire on the Route 91 Harvest Festival in Las Vegas at 10:05 local time Sunday night.

I don’t watch or listen to much news.  I turned the news off years ago because I was becoming addicted to it.  I decided that if something truly important happened I would hear about it, but I couldn’t function with a steady stream of negativity so I just shut it off.

After seeing more than a dozen posts on Facebook… ”Pray for Vegas,” I finally asked someone what was going on in Vegas.

I have nothing to add to the conversation that you haven’t already heard.  I’m sitting here thinking the same thing I thought after Jonesboro, Columbine, 9/11, Ft. Hood, Orlando, San Bernardino, etc, etc.

I just don’t understand.  I pray you have peace today.  I pray you see something that gives you hope for humanity today.  I pray you find and take advantage of an opportunity to make the world a better place today.